Do you need a knife for cereal?

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He was 19 years old and touting all of the reasons why I should purchase a $1100 knife set. I couldn’t think of any. He had zillions.

I am surprised we even met. He was a student distributor for a nationally known cutlery company, referred to me by a mutual friend and promised his presentation wouldn’t take more than an hour. Our first conversation went well until I heard “we need to find a time when your husband can attend too.”.  I pushed back…he insisted. I AM SORRY. WHAT!?

I assumed it was because I’m just lil ‘ol me and can’t make a decision on my own about something so important….< Stated sarcastically in the worst Southern accent I could ever use….like Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias.

Now…to be fair….I wouldn’t make an $1100 purchase without talking to Craig….but he wouldn’t buy it without talking to me. We always talk to each other when we find something that we absolutely must have. But neither asks permission from the other.

This was my final offer. Meet with me. With no husband. At 7am. I had pushed this poor kid off for over a year. He never gave up. He cheerfully agreed to the early morning meeting time and was standing outside when I arrived.

I set his expectations from the first phone call. I can’t justify an expense for something I will rarely use. Yes, I am sure they are nice. But we don’t cook every night. Or every week. And…if I am going to spend $1100 on something, it would be on something that I’d really like to have….like jewelry….or a gun. He walked through the history of the company, talked about the construction of a high quality knife versus a terrible one.

They obviously train their employees. It is impressive training. He was using every possible tool the company gave him and responded to every objective. He wasn’t the issue. He was the epitome of what you’d like representing your company.

Does your husband hunt? You mean while I am in the kitchen baking up a pie? Preparing for when my man returns home?  This time, I am fanning myself with a paper fan…the crappy accent remains. He never asked me if I hunt…but I am a huge game hunter and would have spent thousands of dollars on hunting knives. (Actually not true. I don’t hunt.)

Then it got even better.

We started talking about knife sets. The Homemaker Set. The. Homemaker. Set. Helloooooooooo. The 1950’s called. Maybe I am too sensitive…but are you freaking kidding me!? I stopped his presentation and started peppering him with questions. “Wait. I’m sorry. The what set?”. I heard the innocent response “The Homemaker Set!?”.

I think my question surprised him. I continued. “Do your executives, marketing team, etc think that term could be updated to reflect, uh, the world today!?.” You know….to something better….like The Little Lady Set.

I was starting to sense a trend.

“Sandy, these knives will last a lifetime. They can be passed to your kids and grandkids…they are legacy items” (or something similar).

He finished his presentation. I didn’t purchase anything….but I knew ahead of time I wouldn’t. I shook his hand and wished him luck. This kid is going places.

I couldn’t get the whole experience off my mind. So, like anyone would do when they are pondering life, I went to Google.

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Definition of homemaker: a person who manages a household especially as a wife and mother. 

Huh. I googled again.

Definition of a CEO: the main person responsible for managing a company.

No reference to gender in that definition.

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Maybe I was being uber sensitive. Salespeople probably want both spouses in a presentation so they can’t use the “I need to talk to my spouse” excuse. There are more men hunters than women in the world. I’m still shocked with the homemaker set thing….but…maybe I was being ridiculous at my thinking.

Nope. I am not. The world has changed and everyone is adapting. Well, not everyone.

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Since the presentation I’ve noticed that cheese DOES stick to knives if the blades aren’t creatively constructed with holes to allow airflow. And I will never again hold kitchen scissors without remembering how those perfect scissors felt as if they were made to fit my hand.

I visited the company’s website. “<Company Name > knives have been handed down from mothers to daughters, grandfathers to grandsons and between friends. <Company Name > is for Generations.”

*sigh*

I am my only generation. My family tree stops with me.

So for now, I will keep my crappy knives with the rusted rivets and dull blades. My cereal doesn’t mind.

The Childless Life Monthly Coffee & Chat

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A chance for Baton Rouge area childless women to meet face to face on a regular basis. There is power in meeting someone who “gets it”.

If you’re feeling a bit nervous or shy about coming along… that’s ok. Childless women are everywhere…but we often don’t speak about it…which makes those of us going through it even harder.

There is no agenda to this…..let’s just get together over coffee and talk.

1st Saturday of the month 9am – 10am

Coffee Bean, 12177 Coursey Blvd, Baton Rouge, La 70816

www.TheChildlessLife.com 

www.gateway-women.com

12 Days of Childlessness and 12 Days of Infertility.

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On the 1st day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “This bites, you’ll have no legacy”.

On the 2nd day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “What did I do wrong”

On the 3rd day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “I have empty arms”

On the 4th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me  “I will die alone”

On the 5th day of Childlessness,

my inner voice reminded me 

“FIVE PREGNANT HIGH SCHOOL GIRLSSSSSSSSS”

On the 6th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “People treat me different”

On the 7th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “I’ll never have a baby”

On the 8th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “I’m embarrassed that I’m broken”

On the 9th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “My family is small, its my fault”

On the 10th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “Am I a real woman?”

On the 11th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “Don’t look at me with pity”

On the 12th day of Childlessness, my inner voice said to me “Will I be remembered?”, “Don’t look at me with pity”, “Am I a real woman?”, “My family is small, its my fault” “I’m embarrassed that I’m broken”, “I’ll never have a baby”, “People treat me different”, “FIVE PREGNANT HIGH SCHOOL GIRLSSSSSSSSS”,  “I will die alone”, “I have empty arms”, “What did I do wrong” and “This bites, you’ll have no legacy”.

12 days of Infertility

To me, someone who is infertile has been unable to conceive a child but is still TTC (trying to conceive) and is hopeful that it will happen. 

On the 1st day of Infertility, my family asked of me “Are you pregnant? We want to see a ba-by”

On the 2nd day of Infertility, my coworkers asked of me “Have you seen a doctor?”

On the 3rd day of Infertility, my dry cleaner said to me “Stop trying it will happen”

On the 4th day of Infertility, my neighbor said to me “Adoption is an option”

On the 5th day of Infertility, my doctor said to me

“FIVE CLOMID DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSS”

On the 6th day of Infertility, my pharm tech said to me “You need to try harder”

On the 7th day of Infertility, my lady at the drive through said to me “If its meant to be you’ll have one”

On the 8th day of Infertility, my mailman said to me “Hurry, you’re getting older”

On the 9th day of Infertility, my waitress said to me “Is it you who has the problem?”

On the 10th day of Infertility, my dentist said to me “IVF could fix this”

On the 11th day of Infertility, my nail tech said to me “Why can’t you get pregnant”?

On the 12th day of Infertility, my doctor said to me “This will never happen”, “Why can’t you get pregnant”?, “IVF could fix this”, “Is it you who has the problem?”, “Hurry, you’re getting older”, “If its meant to be you’ll have one”, “You need to try harder”, “FIVE CLOMID DAYSSSSSSSSS”, “Adoption is an option”, “Stop trying it will happen”, “Have you seen a doctor?”, “Are you pregnant? We want to see a ba-by”

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This started to be a tongue in cheek blog post…but as I wrote I started remembering the unsolicited (i.e. unwelcome/unwanted/not helpful) advice I had received over the years. Add that advice to me already beating myself up and it was a constant barrage of negativity….like a partridge jumping out of the pear tree to peck the childless to death.

Others dream of visions of sugar plums dancing in their head. We dream of a child. 

Others think a Silent Night is a good thing. We think its another night without hearing a cooing baby.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Nope…………………………

We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.