“I have been crazy busy. My daughter just made the dance team and we are traveling every weekend.”
“Girl, I know what you’re saying!! The twins are going into the 9th grade and are killing me with track meets…and Jacob just made the all star teaml!”
“Are you kidding? My youngest is getting ready to be a daddy for the second time. I just love those grand-babies.”
Silence. Everyone looks at me. More silence.
“Uhhhhhh. Ehhhhhhhhhhh. Uh……..My dog stared at a turtle for 20 minutes yesterday.”
Sadly, this conversation has happened. Even sadder, my dog HAS stared at a turtle for that long. But I digress.
I read an article where a new mom complained that all of her friends left her after the birth of her child. No one ever came over. The party had ended. She was genuinely complaining about it.
Aw. Poor thing. You must be so alone,
rocking your perfect newborn while humming nursery rhymes.
Yeah. Shut up.
Now…before you start sending me hate mail…hear me out. My heart hurts for anyone going through a painful situation….and I am not intending to make light of her feelings. But….from where I sit, support comes out of the woodwork for mothers. Everyone wants to help a new mom, a busy mom, etc. But who wants to help a woman with a broken uterus!?
Flip that coin.
Imagine all of your friends have children but you cannot. All of your friends start getting together to talk about the joy of motherhood, their fears, their hopes, their dreams, etc. They know you cannot have kids…and they don’t want to hurt you by talking about their babies…so they stop inviting you.
The kids get older….you don’t have a child in baseball….you don’t know all of the inside jokes about the trip to Houston last summer…and they don’t want to hurt you by talking about their teenagers so they stop inviting you.
The kids get married….you don’t have a child getting married…you don’t know what it is like to see your child have a child….they are excited about a new changes….and they don’t want to hurt you by talking about their grand babies so they stop inviting you.
Does childless equal friendless? I don’t know. But I do know that childlessness can be an extremely lonely feeling.
About a year ago I shared my experience at a Gateway-Women’s Reignite Weekend…..and called it the 10 of the most powerful minutes of my life.. This is how Jody Day (the brain and author behind Gateway-Women) describes the weekend!
“There is life after childlessness, despite what the media, your friends, your mother and your inner bitch would have you believe! A meaningful and fulfilling life that makes sense to you because you custom-made it for yourself.”
– Jody Day
This Gateway Women Reignite Weekend is for you if you’re:
A woman who wanted to have children but it didn’t work out for any reason: infertility; didn’t meet a willing or suitable partner’ your partner didn’t want (more) children; a chronic illness; a badly timed breakup, etc, etc. there are so many ways this can happen;
Struggling with relationships with friends and family as ‘the odd one out’ and really missing having a supportive group of women friends to journey through life with;
Wondering where your mojo went and where the hell to start looking for it!;
Lonely and confused about your place in society when all you can see around you are mothers and families;
Knowing that you need to make some changes to your life but feeling too tired, sad & uninspired to know what to try next;
Worried about growing old without children;
Furious that you ‘did all the right things’ and have still ‘ended up’ in this difficult position;
Ready for a Plan B but either convinced that you’ll screw it up, or scared that you’ll never find a meaningful alternative to a life centered on motherhood.
We are hosting one in Baton Rouge on June 23-24th. Only 12 spots are available. Please share this!