Being a stepparent is complex. Being a childless-not-by-choice stepparent adds another layer of emotional nuance that often goes unseen. During the 2023 World Childless Week webinar I co-led with superstars Janet Glaze and Cara Galbavi, we explored this unique intersection—where grief, love, and identity collide.
As a childless-not-by-choice woman, I never had the opportunity to raise a child from birth. Yet through marriage, I became a stepparent. I entered a family dynamic already in motion, with histories, loyalties, and rhythms that didn’t include me. There was love, yes—but also boundaries. I was grateful to be part of their lives and never felt like I was parenting from the sidelines….but there was still the ache at times. My experience is unique, I’ve learned – and I know I am lucky.
Stepparenting can be rewarding, but for those of us who longed for children of our own, it can also stir up deep grief. We may feel invisible in conversations about motherhood. We may hesitate to claim the title “parent” because we didn’t do the diapers, the first steps, the school drop-offs. And yet—we show up. We care. We love.
In our webinar, we talked about how important it is to honor this role. To name the experience. To give voice to the quiet ache of being childless in a parenting-adjacent space. We also talked about boundaries, respect, and the importance of finding community with others who understand.
World Childless Week exists to amplify stories like ours. Stories that don’t fit neatly into cultural boxes. Stories that deserve compassion, visibility, and validation.
If you’re a childless stepparent, know this: your experience matters. You are not alone. Whether you’re navigating loyalty binds, grief triggers, or moments of unexpected joy, your story is part of the broader tapestry of what it means to live a life without biological children—and still love deeply.
Let’s keep talking. Let’s keep showing up. And let’s keep rewriting the narrative.
Watch the webinar here.
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