If your car is abandoned you probably won’t spend a lot of time and effort washing and waxing it….Well, not the greatest analogy….but there are days when I wonder why I even think about eating healthy or taking care of myself because quite honestly, I am angry at the shell of a body I am living in. The most basic thing. Women for a gazillion years (I verified this on the internet) have been getting pregnant and having children. Gazillions of years. And…..then…..me. Something is broken inside and let’s be honest, something is broken inside.
For some reason, the workouts and healthy eating used to feel like the right thing to do because I was taking care of what would soon hold precious cargo. Over the years though I’ve changed my routine and it has affected me physically. I am not sure if the blah that has become my body is because I am getting older or because I just stopped caring. It is probably a little of both but I am leaning toward the latter.
I need to stop blaming everything on infertility. It is hard not to though. For now, I will try to stay away from the candy jar (my weakness) and choose meals that aren’t covered in some delicious gravy…or bread…or pasta…. I will start working on my physical health so I have energy to battle what’s going on in my head.