Tag: Childless

Why I don’t want Daenerys to get pregnant

Published / by sandymichelet / Leave a Comment

Welcome to my first (and only) Game of Thrones themed post. Even if you aren’t a fan of the HBO show, don’t worry. This post will still make sense….so keep reading.

The blonde lead actress in the show is always introduced (in a super cool accent) as “Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons”. I don’t wanna brag….but my moniker is similar.

Very similar. But say it with a Louisiana drawl. “Sandy Michelet of Baton Rouge, First of Her Name, the Burnt Food Cooker, Queen of the Wedge Sandals, Devotee of the Wheat Grass Smoothie, Breaker of Rules, and Mother of Brody the Chocolate Lab.” No, it doesn’t have quite the same punch….but it can be a snazzy update for my Facebook profile name.

Early in the series, Daenerys became pregnant with her first child and I remember being silently disappointed. (Don’t judge me.) She was so powerful and kicked butt with her 5′ 2′ frame. I couldn’t imagine how she could continue to overtake cities to build her army while caring for a newborn. Because this is TV, she, in a twisted attempt to save her husband, negotiated with a witch and lost her baby. I had been disappointed when she became pregnant….so when she lost the baby I immediately felt guilty.

What surprised me was how I felt after this scene. Since she was no longer pregnant, I knew she could continue brutally demonstrating her strength and power (and her unwavering commitment to rule the Seven Kingdoms). But why did I think that?! Does that mean that women lose their ability to rule or their ability to topple cities as soon as they become pregnant? Of course not!  But it does show that I had my own expectation about what I wanted this powerful character to be.

I want a childless hero.

Flash forward to last week’s show. Daenerys told Jon Snow that she was sure couldn’t have children (the witch told her). That felt like horrible foreshadowing…I am guessing now that after the one night tryst on last week’s show (with a hottie) she will become pregnant….

I am not sure who said this quote but I love it. “We cannot be what we cannot see”….so shouldn’t the world’s role models reflect, well, the world!?. I don’t want her to have a child…I don’t want her to experience the miracle…I don’t want her to have the greatest gift that she could….aughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! She has a freaking dragon. Three of them! Isn’t that enough!? Why would she have to have a child to become “complete”?

Daenaerys and I both worry about our legacies. As time goes on, I will begin to fall off family trees because my branches don’t go anywhere. I don’t have a child to continue this awesome blood line of migraines, anxiety and a fondness for junk food. After building an army of over 100,000, she wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms but doesn’t have a silver hair winner of the gene pool to reign once she’s dead. I agree. That is a lot to consider. And I’ve just been worried about who will want my formal china and wedding dress.

Am I going to hell if I am mad at God?

Published / by sandymichelet / 5 Comments on Am I going to hell if I am mad at God?

For 99% of the week I am unbelievably happy. Great husband, great family, great job, great friends. My family is healthy, we have a roof over our head, we have food to eat and we feel safe everyday.

But for that 1% of the week when I am in complete silence and stillness I…ooooooo…..I. Am. Mad. In another post I shared that there is no explanation as to why I couldn’t get pregnant….so it just kinda hung out there…..with no answer or resolution.  Medical science and all of your miracles, kiss it.

My anger is usually directed in one of two places. My body who betrayed me. And God.

Some people turn to the church in times of sorrow…I do the exact opposite. If things are rocking, then I never miss. Absolutely nothing is expected of me during that one hour a week. Except to sit. To think. To listen.

But after 15 years of sitting in church every week while horrible things were happening around me…one after another after another I started asking WHY?

Knowing my struggle Craig convinced me (after about 20 conversations), to go see The Shack….even after I realized that there were no car chases or gun battles (my two usual requirements to see a movie).

The main character, after a personal tragedy, had a lot of questions…and asked them over and over again…..

I am sure there are people who would never question God….who would never admit they are angry at God…who would think that the mere thought of either of those would send them straight to hell.

Is that right? Or wrong? I have no idea….but the movie seemed to bring me some peace….which, other than a baby, is really the only thing I’ve ever wanted.

Aliens, Meghan Trainor and Finding Common Ground

Published / by sandymichelet / 1 Comment on Aliens, Meghan Trainor and Finding Common Ground

Years ago I saw a documentary about people who believed they had come into contact with an alien life form. They were convinced that they had either seen an actual alien or had been abducted. The documentary followed an interviewer over the span of several years with one intent; to show that aliens existed and that we are not alone. He took the viewers on a journey from the most metropolitan areas to small villages that had little communication with the outside world.

During each segment, the interviewer allowed the person to talk freely and encouraged them to provide details about their experiences – what happened, what they saw, why they felt it was an alien, did they feel peace, did they feel danger, etc. These were people from every corner of the globe with no possible chance of ever having come into contact with each other. And every interview ended with one simple request “could you draw me a picture of what you saw”? Before the final credits rolled, the interviewer showed us the drawings…..one after another after another. And without fail, the pictures were almost identical.

How is that possible? Do aliens exist? I don’t know. But I do know that something incredible happened during that two hour documentary. While the interviewer was all about the aliens, bout the aliens (sorry Meghan Trainor), I couldn’t help but think there was something bigger than us drawing us together. How could people halfway across the world with nothing in common find, well, something in common?

Imagine them going back to their families/friends/co-workers to tell the tale of what they saw. I’d assume that they struggled to put it into words. They were probably ridiculed (publically or privately)…they were made to feel that they were crazy…that they  didn’t see what they think they saw…..that no one else around them saw an alien, etc. It took a lot of guts to stand up and say “STOP. You aren’t gonna change my mind. I know what I saw.” There is strength in numbers …..so I bet they would have found comfort in meeting others just like them…others who saw and experienced the same thing.

Fast forward. In a previous post, I talked about going to the Gateway-Women’s retreat. I met women from every corner of the US who had never come into contact with each other. We had (right or wrong) felt ridiculed, sometimes felt crazy, etc. It took a lot of guts to stand up and say “STOP. I will NEVER stop thinking about my desire to be a mom…but I do want to see what’s on the other side of this grief.”

Similar to those who saw aliens, those of us who are childless live in every corner of the globe…..from the most metropolitan areas to small villages that have little communication to the outside world. It doesn’t make it ok…..but it sure as heck means that we are not alone.