Am I going to hell if I am mad at God?

For 99% of the week I am unbelievably happy. Great husband, great family, great job, great friends. My family is healthy, we have a roof over our head, we have food to eat and we feel safe everyday.

But for that 1% of the week when I am in complete silence and stillness I…ooooooo…..I. Am. Mad. In another post I shared that there is no explanation as to why I couldn’t get pregnant….so it just kinda hung out there…..with no answer or resolution.  Medical science and all of your miracles, kiss it.

My anger is usually directed in one of two places. My body who betrayed me. And God.

Some people turn to the church in times of sorrow…I do the exact opposite. If things are rocking, then I never miss. Absolutely nothing is expected of me during that one hour a week. Except to sit. To think. To listen.

But after 15 years of sitting in church every week while horrible things were happening around me…one after another after another I started asking WHY?

Knowing my struggle Craig convinced me (after about 20 conversations), to go see The Shack….even after I realized that there were no car chases or gun battles (my two usual requirements to see a movie).

The main character, after a personal tragedy, had a lot of questions…and asked them over and over again…..

I am sure there are people who would never question God….who would never admit they are angry at God…who would think that the mere thought of either of those would send them straight to hell.

Is that right? Or wrong? I have no idea….but the movie seemed to bring me some peace….which, other than a baby, is really the only thing I’ve ever wanted.

5 Comments on Am I going to hell if I am mad at God?

  1. A person doesn’t go to hell for being mad at God. I’ve unloaded a lot of anger on Him over the years, my grandfather’s suicide and my infertility are the 2 biggest. He already knows how we feel so why not just be transparent?

    The bigger issue for me personally is the fact that the church is so oblivious on this subject. Zero comfort. Zero support. When I was divorced it was similar but not quite as bad as infertility.

    Thank you for sharing from your heart and God bless you and your hubby.

    1. You absolutely nailed it. That has been a big challenge for me. Mothers are honored in the church….so where does that leave those who can’t conceive!?

      I am sorry to hear of your grandfather’s suicide. That is heartbreaking.

      The conversation about infertility and childlessness is hopefully starting to grow. We need to keep talking about it openly. (I liked your “just be transparent” comment.)

      Thank you for commenting!

  2. Sure, we get mad at God. Losing Bobby was the worst thing to happen to me. I expect to go to heaven because I have already done my time in hell. LU

  3. “The Shack”, as movie or book, is a depiction of faith thru an amazing perspective. My hope was for you to liken your loss in childlessness with the main character’s loss from “the incident”.

    My hope is that you’ll see it again. Every word means something. I pray it helps you find peace for more than the two hours.

    For those sharing Sandy’s same pain, I hope and encourage you to go see this movie. It can be that impactful. It can. Let it.

    Love you, San

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