Month: May 2017

You want me to stop the cat lady references? Right meow?

Published / by sandymichelet / Leave a Comment
  • Single, childless man: Sexy, mysterious, worldly, available, distinguished, desirable.
  • Single, childless woman: Shrew, cat lady, barren, sad, alone.
  • Single, childless woman with a cat: “I feel sorry for her. She must be so lonely.”
  • Single, childless man with a dog: “He’s having so much fun…walking man’s best friend.”

When did the cat lady become a thing? And why is it synonymous with older woman without a child?

In a previous post I shared my experience at the Gateway-Women’s Reignite Retreat where I met with 12 other childless women from around the country. The first day of the retreat was gut wrenching but important. On the second day we each created a plan to thrive in our life as opposed to just “existing” – even though we were each living in this, the unexpected and undesired normal. We also addressed the stigma of childlessness that we all know exists…but don’t talk about. And how as someone ages it gets worse. And cruel.

Shrew | Cat lady | Barren | Sad | Lonely | The witch who lives in the shoe | Old lady with crooked fingers | Will steal children | | Spends her social security money on cat food

The older, childless female characters in Disney movies aren’t even shown in a positive light. Maleficint, the evil queen from Snow White, Ursula from the Little Mermaid, the witch in Hansel and Gretel, Cruella de vil, etc. What do they all have in common? Older, single, childless women. <Me, trying to think of an older Disney character who has kids> Oh! Cinderella’s stepmother has daughters.  AUGH!! SHE IS EVIL TOO! See what I mean!?

You’ve cat to be kitten me right meow.

I am not on a rant. I don’t even own a cat. It’s just a strange phenomenon that I could never get my arms around…..but it seems that the mere existence of Whiskers changes the game.

Forget Disney movies. Moving forward I plan to be less Cruella and more Sigourney Weaver’s character “Ripley from Aliens”. An older, childless woman who kicks ass and saves the world. And OMG. She has a cat.

Mother’s Day: The Voldemort of holidays.

Published / by sandymichelet / 4 Comments on Mother’s Day: The Voldemort of holidays.

I know…I know…..Mother’s Day is to be cherished. Yeah. Whatever.

Mother’s Day is single handedly the worst day of the year for me and every other person struggling to have a child. Every. Single. Year.

I’ve said previously that church is VERY hard. It should be a place for peace…but the place is full of families with children and a constant reminder of my failure. But church on Mother’s Day!? That is a special kind of torture. Mothers are given flowers, the pastor or priest talks about the value of the mother to your family and to the world. Moms are asked to stand and be recognized. Donuts will be served directly after this service. Oh….(as an after thought/consolation prize)…..those other women who don’t have children!? You can stand too.

I stopped going to church on Mother’s Day many years ago. I realized that instead of listening to the message (you know….about how awesome moms are) I was planning my Jason Bourne escape route. The entire time.

It was a little something like this: Stand up quietly while trying to look invisible > Excuse me > Excuse me > Excuse me > Step over someone’s purse > Excuse me > I’m so sorry > Excuse me > Accidentally step on someone’s freaking bouquet of Mother’s Day flowers > Excuse me > HOW LONG IS THIS ROW? SHEESH! > Thank you > Excuse me >   Leave the pew and start the 20 yard dash. Successful escape!

Ready for bad idea of the day #2?

Like many families, we headed to lunch after church. On Mother’s Day. It was obvious that the 16 year old greeting the customers was told to hand the flowers in his bucket only to the moms. First, bad idea, restaurant. How in the world can that ever end well!?

So he asked each woman who walked in. “Are you a mother? Are you a mother? I’m supposed to hand these to the moms. Are you a mom?” No. But I do have mace in my purse. Ask me again.

I stopped going to restaurants on Mother’s Day the year I threatened a 16 year old restaurant greeter.

The irony of all of this is that I think moms should be honored and cherished. It is a huge responsibility to positively influence a child into a successful, confident and productive adult. That happens with a lot of blood, sweat, tears and “CLOSE THE DOOR”s.  Moms should be appreciated. Especially my mom. She put up with a lot from my brother. I, of course, was an angel.

Mother’s Day will always be a double edge sword for me. I love being able to recognize my mom and mother in law and all of the incredible moms I know. It will always be hard though…..because I have never had anyone call me mom. And that doesn’t seem like a big deal….until it never happens.

For now, I am finding peace on the day which I once despised and feared. And YOU have helped. So has changing the routine. The restaurant thing is obviously a no-go. So, we eat lunch at the house and do absolutely nothing. Sometimes we head to the movies so I can escape into the darkness….Jason Statham has a way of making me forget all of my troubles…….